Your hunting dog obeys the commands "halt", "traverse
right/left", "forward", and "identified".
You recycle because you feel sorry for those poor bastards down at Bragg.
You can sleep through a raging thunderstorm, but wake up when your
wristwatch alarm goes off.
When playing football, you can never throw a pass without checking
wind, baro, and the football's temperature.
You let your kids pee off the porch, but ground them when their rooms
aren't IAW the standard load plan.
You're always accusing the wife of turning down the volume on the TV
You believe that during the Gulf War, everyone was there to support YOU.
You shy away from helping the kids with their math because you don't have all your fingers.
The only ashtrays you have at home are all 120mm aft caps.
You giggle uncontrollably when the guys talk about the thrill of firing big bore guns like the .308.
You say "On the way" as you pass gas.
You consider four the perfect size for a family.
You don't realize that it's illegal to stick your head out the sunroof while driving.